Lexpert Magazine

LEXPERT MAGAZINE | SEPTEMBER 2016 69 TRAVEL Bahamas: Welcome to Paradise, literally Could "Hog Island" ever have attracted so much attention? It was like a furnace out there and there were no taxis in sight. So I began to run. Sweat was pouring off me in buckets. I had five minutes to make the train and I was a good half mile from the station. I ar- rived just as the train was about to pull away from the platform. I jumped aboard. Every pore of my body gave up its fluids. e leather of my shoes was sodden. My lapels were steaming like a horse that had been ridden hard and put away wet. Two glasses of champagne helped to cool me down, and by the time we arrived in Pauillac, I was merely as hot as the rest of the gathering. At the dinner I was seated next to the late Philip- pine de Rothschild. She had chosen to serve Mouton- Rothschild 1939 in magnum as the centrepiece wine. Now, 1939 was my birth year — not a great year for wine but, I can safely say, a good one for me. I asked my hostess if she would sign the label for me as a me- mento of a great meal, and she graciously did so. I carried the empty magnum lovingly back to the Relais de Margaux and promptly soaked off the label in the bidet. To dry it, I took wads of toilet paper, careful not to smudge Philippine's signature. We got into our beds and my colleague turned off the light. e next thing I heard was the striking of a match. "What are you doing?" I called out into the darkness. "Having a smoke," he replied. "I always smoke be- fore I go to sleep." "In the dark?" "Yes." "I'd rather you didn't." "Okay," he said, obligingly. He blew out the match and, as soon as his head hit the pillow, he began to snore with window-rattling intensity. I tried putting the pillow over my head, but it did no good. So I got up and tried to make myself a bed in the bath. But that was uncomfortable. So I moved under the sink making sure that I was well out of the path, in case the sleeping volcano decided to make a nocturnal pit stop. My ear was next to the pipes and, when anybody else in the hotel that night flushed the toilet or turned on a tap, I was jolted into wakefulness by a noise even more devastating than my colleague's snoring. Eventually, I returned to my bed and fell asleep in the early hours of the morning. When I awoke my neighbour was already up. "How did you sleep?" he asked me. "As well as might be expected," I replied, passive- aggressively. "And you?" "Great," he said, "but this morning when I went to the can, I couldn't find any toilet paper, so I had to use a god-damned wine label." THERE YOU ARE sitting stressed out in your office when paradise has been a flight away this entire time. Once known as "Hog Island," this increasingly popular destination in the Bahamas was renamed "Paradise Island" in what would seem to be a presumptuous rebranding effort. But visit and you'll see that it really wasn't that far off the mark. > Stay – e centrepiece of any family vacation to Nassau will include the At- lantis island resort. e pink towers set on Paradise Island are a major draw for young families and cruising tourists. Beaches, water slides, lazy rivers and an aquarium anchor rooms of various sizes and styles. If you're looking for some- thing a bit more luxurious and relaxed, try the five-star Graycliff hotel. e building, listed on the National Register of Historic places, boasts a chocola- tier on site and an impressive cigar company. Owned by Italian immigrants to the islands, the pizzeria and nearby gelato offerings are both worthy of a lunch- time stop, even if you can't stay. www.atlantisbahamas.com; www.graycliff.com > Understand – More than four million people visit the Bahamas each year, but very few take the time to get to know the island's culture or sample its local cuisine. Alanna Rodgers has changed that with her popular Bites of Nassau Food Tasting and Cultural Walking tours that are about so much more than the food. e three-hour culinary adventure runs daily and includes at least six ample food and drink tastings, along with an informed explanation of the sights you're seeing and bites you're tasting. Best of all: no guilt! You'll cover 2.2 kilometres as you walk between stops. www.trubahamianfoodtours.com > Explore – Save a day for the so sand, smooth rocks and beautiful tur- quoise-streaked waters of Rose Island. e 11-acre, family-owned retreat is offered as a day trip with Sandy Toes outfitters. Relax, you won't find any hard sell here. (e affordable massages and heavy-pour drinks tend to sell them- selves.) Instead, just an aernoon of fun and adventure. Snorkel off the dock with a guide, dine on a barbecue chicken lunch or take in the view from under a thatched palupa. Stress? What stress? www.sandytoesbahamas.com | DETOURS | Heather Greenwood Davis is a lawyer and contributing editor at National Geographic Travel. Reach her at heather@globetrottingmama.com Tony Aspler is the author of 17 books on wine, including his latest, Canadian Wineries. PHOTO: SHUTTERSTOCK

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